Thursday, December 31, 2009

Welcome 2010

There are no ifs or buts about it. I am glad to see the back of 2009.

I feel 2010 is going to be my year. I don't know what exactly, but I sense in my spirit that God is going to hurl me into something amazing. Last year was like the little engine that could. "I think I can, I think I can." Strain. Stress. Hard yakka. Preparation for the road ahead. Strengthened spirit - strengthened relationship with God - and we are going to do amazing things this year.

So...

Every single year I made New Year's resolutions. I keep most of them. So here are my goals for this year in my Spiritual life:

1. This year I am going to continue on in studying the Bible and read a good portion of it. If I am going to be using my gift of teaching, then I better know alot more to actually teach!!

2. Every single month I am going to prepare a rip-snorter sermon. So by December 2010 I should have 12 of them, on file - ready to speak when I am asked.

3. I am going to spend less time on Facebook as part of a personal resolution, but I think this will benefit my spiritual life. I will have more time to do more productive things in my life. Spending time of facebook acheives absolutely nothing - but spending time praying, reading the Word, worshipping, reading studies, and meditating on the scriptures will grow me and prepare me.

So that's it for this year. Today is the first day of an amazing year. I look forward to it!

MY PRAYER
Lord, thankyou for bringing me through such a tough year. Thankyou that you have clearly been at work in my life and showing me the way and walking every step of the way with me. Lord I commit 2010 to you - have your way in my life. I give my talents, skills and abilities to you for your use for your purposes. Help me encourage and bless the people who visit this blog. Use the words I write to speak into the lives of these precious people.
2010 belongs to you. It's your year, to do your thing, in your world with your Skipper.
Amen.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Have a blessed Christmas!

To my readers,
May the splendor of the season remind you of Him who is worthy of all our praise!

Religious Pictures, Images and Photos

And even though we don't "do" Santa in this house, I couldn't resist this very Aussie picture:

Aussie christmas card Pictures, Images and Photos

With love from Skipper

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Detour signs.

detour ahead Pictures, Images and Photos

Exodus 13:17, 21-22 When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land..... The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire. This allowed them to travel by day or by night. And the Lord did not remove the pillar of cloud or pillar of fire from its place in front of the people.

The journey to God's promises are not always direct. Sometimes we are lead on detoured routes. And do you know what? That's ok with me - because:

1. It's planned!
God has a purpose and a reason for leading us on indirect routes. The Israelites were lead on a longer route for a purpose. If you read the scripture in it's entirety, God states his thinking and reasoning. Now I know it would be nice to know WHY God does what he does - sometimes we just don't know. But we have to have faith in God's purpose and believe that God has a greater plan.
God is not surprised by anything. He isn't sitting up there thinking "Oh wow! Well, I didn't expect THAT to happen... oh dear, now what?" He didn't lead the Israelites into Philistine territory, because he KNEW what would happen. He knows what we are going through, where we are at on our journey and he knows what we need to get through each stage in our life.

2. We are not lost!
Sometimes I feel like I am wandering around aimlessly - where am I going? What am I doing?? But God has the map. He's the one who directs us and leads us - and I just have to believe in his direction. Psalm 23:3 He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. He's guiding me. He's guiding you. We are not lost - we are not going to have to backtrack, we are not wasting our time. All is good. All is for a reason and a purpose.


3. My faith will increase.
2 Corinthians 5:7 For we live by believing and not by seeing.
I need to believe his promises, believe in his abilities, believe that he is doing everything for a greater purpose, and bring glory to God as I go. Going on detours is an exercise in my faith.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.


MY PRAYER
I believe in you Lord. I believe in your abilities, your will and your purposes. I want to be lead completely by you. Like you lead the Israelites by fire and a cloud - I want to be lead by your Holy Spirit and your Word. Help me go through my detours, equipping me as I go, and help me stay patient and see it as a faith builder. Lord I know you have great things in store for me - I want to bring glory to you as I take the journey to actually get there. Thank you for speaking to me through your Word. I pray that you will speak to every single reader, impact them, encourage them and surround them with your love. Amen

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Leadership Boot Camp.

I've been reading and studying Moses' life with interest. I was especially interested that Moses was demoted from prince of Egypt, with power and influence, to a shepherd. Now I've worked with sheep, and seriously it's not a glamorous job at all. Especially in Australia, where you are trying to work with them in the dust, flies and heat. When I see pictures of a Bible-days shepherd boy, holding this lilly white lamb, it all looks peaceful and green and lush... To me that seems unrealistic. I think Moses, working out near Mount Sinai, would have had a similar environment to an Aussie "Shepherd".

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When I was working with sheep, the boss would have to help his sheep find water, food, keep them penned in their paddocks, treat their wool yearly, dag them (which means shear off the wool around their backsides) and shear them. Getting them from one paddock to another was ridiculous. Seriously sheep are STUPID. Once I was ushering sheep from one pen to another so they could be counted, and one fell over. It lay there for AGES... and the boss had to go and pick it up. It wouldn't get up on it's own. Mustering them is so funny - because they are just so stupid. If they went in the direction they were supposed to, then it would be over alot faster.

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If Moses was going to lead a nation out of Egypt, he had to go to Leadership Boot Camp. Working with stubborn, stupid sheep would give him excellent leadership skills to lead a whinging, whining, stubborn, disobedient nation into freedom. What Moses may have seen as a "demotion" and a mundane living was actually training him to be the "deliverer".

Situations in life are not wasted, God will use them to grow us, develop us, equip us and then when the time is right, send us out and use us. Praise God that the rubbish times in life, the times where we feel like we are not accomplishing anything for his Kingdom, is Boot Camp!

MY PRAYER
Thankyou Father that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord - that all seasons are ordained by you. Lord help me get the very most growth out of "Boot camp" times so I can be the most effective in ministry. Thankyou that it's not by might, not my power, but by your Spirit - I don't do anything in my own strength - it's all you. I give full glory and honour to you. Amen

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Looking back over the last year.

I started this blog a year ago. Roughly.

It's been 1 year since I starting blogging about my journey and what I have learned. It's funny, but it feels like MUCH longer.

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So in honor of it being a Blogiversary, I went back and started reading over my words, readings and learnings. Do you know what?? I'm excited!! It's good to go back and look at the steps I have walked from December 2008 - December 2009. This year has been a hard slog for me, but do you know what, God has walked every single step of the way with me. My personal life may be hard, but God has spoken life and love into my spirit, giving me the strength to face my troubles and worries and get on with it.

How GREAT is our God???

So here is to 2010! May God bless it, and keep guiding me so I can run with perserverance the race that is set before me!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Put in a good word...

Genesis 40:14 And please remember me and do me a favor when things go well for you. Mention me to Pharaoh, so he might let me out of this place.

impatient Pictures, Images and Photos

I totally get where Joseph is coming from. He is starting to get impatient. He is starting to wonder whether he should have the "God helps those who help themselves" attitude. He is starting to self promote. He put his faith in a human being to get him out of prison and to start fulfilling his vision and dream. He asked the cup bearer to "do him a favour" and "talk to Pharoah for me". I get it. Everything within me is screaming out to do the same. Promote yourself Skip. Advertise. Start talking to the "right people" about your dreams, visions and abilities. Get people in power to liase on your behalf. DO SOMETHING WOMAN!! I can see why Joseph asked for a favour.

impatient Pictures, Images and Photos

For a moment there, Joseph's focus shifted. He thought a mere human would be able to do what God should have already done, as far as he was concerned. As it turns out, the cup-bearer forgot Joseph for 2 years!! Didn't even give him a second thought! Relying on humans to fulfill what God has promised is fruitless and will just disappoint.

But this time of waiting for God's timing was the time that Joseph was developed. His faith had to be unwavering. He was given leadership opportunities. He had to go through this time to be the great man that he was. This time of waiting will not go wasted for myself or for anyone else who is waiting for God to do His thing.

Psalm 146:3-6 Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there. When they breathe their last, they return to the earth, and all their plans die with them. But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
whose hope is in the Lord their God. He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. He keeps every promise forever.


MY PRAYER
Lord I will trust in you and only you to do what you have promised. Your Word says that you keep EVERY promise. You will never dissapoint me. God I want to have faith in you and only you. My human nature wants to self promote - and I know that is not your will. Keep reminding me that it's all in your timing. Your purposes will come about when YOU decide it's time. Not my timing.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tough times = preparing the groundwork

In Genesis 39 we read of Joseph's life and how he must have thought "What on earth is going on?? I've had this dream, you showed me, and now I am in prison unjustly."

prison Pictures, Images and Photos

But God was preparing the groundwork. Going through tough times develops us in our character to prepare us for the work God has in store for us. God really impressed on me that this time in my life is just a season - it's preparation for fulfillment of dreams and promises. Something that really spoke to me was: if Joseph stayed where he was, with his father, being the favourite son, living that cushy life - he wouldn't have developed into that strong and powerful man that he became. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers - he was a young man in a good place, and quickly became a nobody.

During tough times in our lives, it enables us to wait on God and wait on his timing. This is faith building time, hanging onto the promises God has made, remembering those dreams, and waiting for God to fulfill them. I read in my study bible that God's DELAYS are not DENIALS.

I'm so glad that God has shown me these passages, and given me new meaning. I can go through these uncertain and difficult times with the confidence that this is a time of refinement and God is preparing the groundwork for greater things.

MY PRAYER
Lord God, thank you for speaking to me clearly through your word. I love how it all comes to me in perfect timing. Help me to be a woman of integrity as I continue this season in my life. It's not easy, but I know I can rely on you for strength and guidance. Amen

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Flying under the radar? I don't think so!

Genesis 39:2-6 The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant. He put him in charge of his entire household and everything he owned. From the day Joseph was put in charge of his master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s household for Joseph’s sake. All his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished. So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned

God had called Joseph to great things. He had given him 2 dreams, showing him his future, that he would be a man of influence and power. Amazing dreams for a young man. But things weren't appearing to go to plan - Joseph had been sold into slavery and then made a servant in Potiphar's house. Going from a rich man's favourite son, with position - to a servant, a slave - a nobody!

But when God's annointing is on your life, it doesn't go unnoticed. Potiphar - who was probably a man who worshipped pagan gods, noticed that God was with Joseph and helping him succeed in his role as a slave. There is no way Joseph could have flown under the radar because God's annointing was apparent. His owner recognised that there was something special about him and elevated him to manager of his home.

When you are in a God ordained place, we succeed - but if we are in a self ordained place, trying to make ourselves great and climb the ministry "corporate ladder" we will not experience the kind of success that God will give us.

God really spoke to me while I was reading this passage - it was a gentle promise that it will be apparent that God's annointing is on my life. Like Joseph - I used to have status (in ministry) but now I am back to nothing. But I will not fly under the radar, because I have God's annointing on my life. The good thing about this is that Joseph was a rich man's favourite son, when he reached his potential - when his dreams came to pass, he was a prime minister of a nation!

MY PRAYER
Lord, I believe in you and your abilities. Though I don't understand what is going on and where I am going, I believe in you and your promises.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Obedience at all cost

God is really speaking to me as I slowly plod my way through the Bible.

In Genesis 22, we read about the story of Abraham's test of faith. God gave Isaac to Abraham, his long awaited and much beloved son. Abraham proved himself by obeying God no matter what the cost. He loved his son, he had waited for his son - but his attitude was that God had it all under control. Abraham was named as a great man of faith. Seriously, he deserves that title!!

Rembrant Pictures, Images and Photos

What spoke to me is that Abraham showed God, that he had access to ALL areas of his life. Whatever God wanted, Abraham would obey. Even when God wanted his son, Abraham obeyed - and at the last moment God stopped him. Talk about a breath holding moment!!! Nothing Abraham had was withheld from God - nothing.

I believe that in this season of my life, God is preparing for the next phase in my ministry. This is a lesson for me - am I withholding from God? Is there an area in my life that is off-limits to God? Is it all or nothing, or just bits and pieces?

MY PRAYER
Lord I want to be an all or nothing Christian. I want my whole life to be in complete surrender to you. I don't want to hold anything back from you - no matter how precious it is to me.
Please show me areas of my life that I need to surrender. Help be have the strength and courage to face it, and hand it over - completely trusting in you.

Thankyou Lord for speaking to me and showing me the way.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Waiting for Isaac

Genesis 21:1-5 1 The Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised. 2 She became pregnant, and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened at just the time God had said it would. 3 And Abraham named their son Isaac. 4 Eight days after Isaac was born, Abraham circumcised him as God had commanded. 5 Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born.

gods promises psalm 113: Pictures, Images and Photos

Isaac was God's promise to Abraham. He promised Abraham that He would make him a great nation. His descendents would be so numerous you couldn't count them. Abraham was 100 years old before Isaac arrived. Now I don't know about you, but 100 years old, is OLD! I don't see many 100 year old people able to have children. Sarah would have gone through menopause, their libido would have diminished somewhat - and at that age, if they did have sexual relations, wouldn't "Gee I hope I don't break a hip!" be forefront in their minds. She said herself, her child bearing years are over.

Genesis 18:11-12 Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time, and Sarah was long past the age of having children. 12 So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?”

Sarah thought it was impossible.
Abraham believed God, but must have been too, wondering how it was going to happen.
God waited until it was absolutely humanly impossible to conceive a child, and then acted. Isaac was a complete revelation of God's amazing power. There is no way anyone could say "That was a fluke, a very rare occurence" - because a 90 year old woman and a 100 year old man cannot bear children.

I can't really complain - at 30 years old, God is not fulfilling his promises to me. God has not given me my Isaac. When it comes to fulfilling God's purposes, I want it to be GOD who does it - when it's humanly impossible for me to do anything, God will move. I don't want an Ishmael - which was the son that Abraham had when he tried to move the hand of God.

So however long it takes, whatever God's will and purpose is in regards to the promises he has made, I am willing to wait for my Isaac.

MY PRAYER
Lord God, you are in control of everything. Thankyou that your purposes and promises will come into being in their due season. Lord when I see that things don't look possible to me, I can rejoice because with you - NOTHING is impossible.
Amen

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Faith in God, no matter what.

Genesis 12:1-4
The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you.
I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.
I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”
So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed....Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran


When I read this passage, I was amazed at the level of faith that it took Abram to pack up everything he owned, and leave his family, his heritage, his land and go off to some unknown place. God said it and he did it. Not only did he just up and leave and go on a huge walkabout through strange lands, he did this when he was 75 years old!! 75 is OLD!! 75 is past retirement age here. He was a white haired nomad. And he up and left, in anticipation of the promises that God made. I am especially glad God kept the promise that "all families on earth will be blessed through you" We are certainly blessed because Abram acted in faith. 2000 years a go that blessing came to earth to offer us salvation and relationship with God.

Abram had to make a painful decision to leave his family, leave everything he had ever known, leave his friends and all that was comfortable and head off to literally God knows where. God promised him that he would make him a great nation - even though at 75, he had no children. His wife was past child-bearing age. In the natural, this was an impossible promise to keep. But God did it - 25 years later, God gave Abram a son - Isaac. God kept every single promise he made to Abram because he acted in faith and did what God asked of him.

MY PRAYER
Lord I want to obey your every word. Help me be like Abram, who didn't question you but obeyed and in return received so much blessing. Abram's faith is a faith I want to emulate. Lord I believe in the promises you have made me, what you have said you are going to do, how you are going to use me. I will do anything and go anywhere you tell me to, so these can come to pass. You are worthy of all the praise, and all the glory, all the honor. Amen.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I've been quiet

Sorry everyone. I've had some crazy times over here. I've just wrapped up my university year with a big research assignment. It's been consuming my thoughts and time. I've not had the mental capacity to write something meaningful in here.

But even when I am crazy busy and when I am consumed by stress and assignments and journals. When I feel like I'm in the middle of a snowball effect, I know that God is my epi-centre. I know that God is my peace in my whirlwind moments.

1 Corinthians 14:33 - For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. During times of craziness, this verse comforts me. I have a confession to make, I have control freak tendencies. I like my world to be ordered. Everything has it's place, everything has to be catergorised and put into it's little box. When things are out of order in my life I tend to spin out and feel like I am losing it! It's just the way I am. My Mum is like it. My Aunt is like it. This doesn't control me, because there are just some things that I can't control, and this where I have to hand it over to God. But know that God is a God of order - and knowing this makes me feel a heap better about life's crazies.

MY PRAYER
Thankyou Lord for the strength to get through these last few weeks. Thankyou that you are with me and giving the peace that passes all understanding. Thankyou that you never change, and I can rely on you at all times. Amen

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I am desperate for you my God



MY PRAYER
Beautiful Saviour. Mighty and great God! Lord and Father - hear my heart's cry, hear my prayer, hear my spirit yearn for you. I am desperate for you. Fill me completely. I am nothing without you - I am dust on legs without you. Everything I am, everything I do - it's for you. Every skill I have, every talent I have - it's for you. For your glory, for the benefit of extending your kingdom.
Lord my spirit yearns for so much more. I want more of you. I want more of what you have in store for me. I want more. I want to know you more.
Lord in these times of I am unsure of what is going to happen, I want to rest peacefully, knowing that you have it under control. And while I wait for your purpose and plan to come into being, I will worship you. I will praise you. My heart will sing How great is our God! Let this season of waiting be a season of waiting with you, growing closer and more intimate with you. Let this time not be wasted in just waiting, but a time of knowing you so much more.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I will walk in freedom.

Psalm 119:45 I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments.



MY PRAYER
Lord, I want you desperately. I want to know you deeply. I want to be so close to you. I want to walk in complete freedom, the way that you have intended for me. As I devote myself to reading and studying your Word, I pray that you will reveal yourself to me and that each word I read will impact my life. I don't want to read the Bible like a novel, or a newspaper, I want these words to be life changing and world shaking. I look forward to this liberating life and I thankyou for it Lord. I love you Lord, and I worship you. You are all that I want. In your freedom I will live. I offer devotion.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Psalm 34

Today as I was seeking God - just relaxing in his presence, the verse "Taste and see that the Lord is good" came to mind. I looked it up and read the entire Psalm. These words really spoke into my spirit. One phrase sums it up... HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD???



1 I will praise the Lord at all times.
I will constantly speak his praises.
2 I will boast only in the Lord;
let all who are helpless take heart.
3 Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
6 In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.
7 For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

8 Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!


praise Pictures, Images and Photos

MY PRAYER
Thankyou Father for this timely message from heaven. I want to be joyful in the knowledge that you are handling everything. Thankyou for the blessings you give your people. Thankyou that you alone are the source of joy and confidence.
You are amazing! How great is our God!
Amen.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

With all I am.

I have sung this song so many times - but today it took on a new meaning for me. I've always known it was about complete surrender, but today it was my heart's cry. In this time in my life, this song really spoke to me. I hope it blesses you today as you worship a great and mighty God.



MY PRAYER
Thankyou Lord that we can abandon ourselves and give ourselves to you into your trustworthy and capable hands. I give everything to you - I trust in you, I believe in you. As I take my first steps into the unknown, I do it holding your hand, and knowing that you are with me. I love you Lord.
Amen.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Christ-like Leadership part 2

Continuing on with the study I am reading.

This study was written by Joel McClure. He gave 5 metaphors to describe the aspects of Christ-like leadership - and the second one was The Shepherd: the Leader as Nurturer.

Nurtering comes naturally to me. I am a Mother of three children. I have to younger brothers, one who I particularly nurtured.
Nurture defined is: foster: help develop, help grow.

In leadership, their is nothing more satisfying than watching the people you lead develop and grow! I love the training, the mentoring, the encouragement, the challenging - all aspects of helping someone grow into a role or as a person.

I believe nurturing to be vitally important in team building. Especially developing their spiritual lives. It's human response to arc up about this, and reject the very idea that they will have to be accountable. But how can a leader not be a shepherd to the people that they lead? Jesus shepherded his disciples. Sure, he hung out with crowds of people, but he spent a good deal of time, growing, training and developing his 12 disciples.

Jesus Teaching Disciples Pictures, Images and Photos

What would happen to a group of people when they aren't nurtured? I wonder if it's the same as when a child is not nurtured. When a child is not nurtured, he or she becomes stunted in it's emotional and develepmental growth. The people of God cannot be effective if they are stunted in their spiritual and developmental growth. This is not what God wants for his kids.

MY PRAYER
Lord thankyou for showing me the importance of nurturing in a leadership role. Thankyou that you shepherded your disciples so that they were fully equipped to go out and preach the gospel. Thankyou that because of this nurturing we can all know you in a real way.
Amen.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Christ-like Leadership Part 1.

I am reading an interesting study on Christ-Like Leadership - so I want to jot my thoughts and impressions down here as I do it.

As some of you know I am in leadership in the church I am in - I soon will be out of leadership for a while - but the skills I have are still there. So I want to learn more about doing leadership in the best way possible.

Alot of ministries curl up and die, because of lack of good Christ-like leadership. Departments are run like small armies, with control as their primary focus rather than the people they are serving, the God that they are serving etc. I want to be sure that any leadership roles I take on from now on, I do it in the manner of Christ.

This study was written by Joel McClure. He gave 5 metaphors to describe the aspects of Christ-like leadership - and the first one was The Foot Washer: the Leader as Servant

In John 13:1-17 it details a beautiful image of Jesus as a servant, washing the feet of his disciples. Jesus showed through his actions that the most important part of being a leader is being a servant. Be willing to do the unimportant little jobs.

Jesus Washing Feet Pictures, Images and Photos

I remember before I became a leader, that I had to be faithful in the small areas. I had to be willing to do little "unimportant" jobs before I could be faithful in the more "important" jobs. Though really... all jobs are important. All jobs are worthy. But for those dreaming of leadership, dreaming of running departments, leading teams, leading the church etc - be willing and be happy with doing the little things before trying to grab the more "glamourous" position of leadership.

As I go into my new church, this is one area I need to be aware of - I can't just step into another leadership role - I need to serve in the little areas, in the areas I may not necessarily have a calling in so that I can prove myself to be faithful for the bigger things. This is going to be a very humbling experience for me - once a worship director - now what?? This will certainly be dealing with my spirit of pride that sometimes rises up in me. But I will serve God, and will serve Him joyfully. I will do whatever task is asked of me, and I will fill a need where I can, because I am serving God - and every thing I do for God is an honor and a priveledge.

Mark 10:43 - 44 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Word of God - Speak.

A song that is mirroring my hearts cry.



Word of God Speak by Mercy Me

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.


I just love this scripture. I remember singing a song about this as a child in school. It really has stuck with me.

Trust in God. Trust God. Trust in the Lord. Trust. Trust. Trust.

I remember playing a game with my brother - who was 4 years my junior called "Trust me?" - I had to turn around so my back was facing him, and then fall into his arms and he would have to catch me. If you stepped backward, trying to catch yourself, you didn't trust the person. It was a little terrifying. So... We would play. One day I did a human "timber!" and started falling... and falling... I felt the terrifying feeling of falling harder and faster... I was getting close to the ground... and about 2 inches before I hit the ground, I felt my brothers arms and hands on my back. He had squatted down so that I would have to fall a long way before he caught me. But I had to trust that he would catch me, otherwise I would have been crusin for a brusin on my noggin! :)

On a youth camp I went on we went rock climbing. (back in the days when safety equipment was optional and we were all rather adventurous and crazy anyway) We had to get into teams of two, one person was blindfolded and the other had sight. I was blindfolded... and I had to climb this cliff with my partner directing my hands and feet. We made it, and boy was it hard to focus on her voice and focus on the fact that she wasn't going to do something stupid - especially as she was directly behind me and would be taken down with me!!

Trust is hard for humans at times. Human beings let other human beings down, but God is the only one who never will. He will be there for us at every moment of every day, through every trial, through ever happy moment. God is with us. We can trust that he has our best interests at heart - even though we don't always understand why and what on earth is going on.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Psalm 46: 10 Be still, and know that I am God!

I love how the Message translates this verse: "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God.... above everything."

Know that I am God. KNOW that I am God. KNOW IT.

I don't have to figure it all out and have all the answers, I just have to know that God is God. I just have to be still, chill, take a moment and remember that God is God. I can trust him.

Well it's done...

Just an update from our resignation from our Church. The announcement was made today in Church and so far the reaction has been pretty good. We have 2 more weeks there and then that will be it for us.

I'm believing that God has his hand on this whole thing - especially as I was sitting here just listening in my Spirit - and God dropped this line... "command the blessing". Not sure what that was.... But Google is my friend. :)

"The LORD will command the blessing upon you in your barns and in (A)all that you put your hand to, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God gives you." Deuteronomy 28:8

My confidence, my hope, my trust and my entire being rests in God.

In regards to comments...

Just a quick note: I am no longer going to publish comments from Annonymous. I feel very uneasy that they cannot put their usernames to their comments. I think if you have a comment or an opinion, then you should not be afraid to stand by this. Annonymous to me is hiding, cowardly and totally unnecessary.

Why hide? Be proud of your opinions on what I say. Nothing wrong in that at all. As I have said before, unless your opinion is doctrinally wrong, then it will be published.

Anonymous freaks me out... it makes it impossible to check out THEIR blogs and see who they are etc. How can I be an effective stalker if there is no name??? :)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I'm glad I don't have to be alone!

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd Pictures, Images and Photos


A psalm by David. The LORD is my shepherd. I am never in need.
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside peaceful waters.
He renews my soul. He guides me along the paths of righteousness for the sake of his name.
Even though I walk through the dark valley of death, because you are with me, I fear no harm. Your rod and your staff give me courage.
You prepare a banquet for me while my enemies watch. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.
Certainly, goodness and mercy will stay close to me all the days of my life, and I will remain in the LORD'S house for days without end.


Hands up who thinks being a Christian is easy?? As soon as you made Jesus your Lord and Saviour, every single waking minute has been a piece of cake!!

Anyone?

Ok hands up who thinks being a non-christian is any easier?

I personally don't think either way is easy. LIFE isn't easy. Did anyone find it hard to make a career choice? Whether or not to have a baby? Should I marry this person? Should I buy this house? Should I sell this car? Should I... will I... can I... but what if???

Death still happens, unexpected tragedy still happens, rape, murder, theft, torture, bullying, abuse, your house burning down, war, famine etc happens - whether you are Christian or not. We are not shielded from sin, because we live in a sinful world.

So if life is not going to be easier as a Christian, why bother?

Because as a Child of God - you have company. You don't have to do it alone. You have the love and guidance of a Heavenly Father. I love in Psalm 23, even as we die, God is with us. He will never leave us to face "life" alone. He's right there in every situation - every decision - every tragedy - every moment, guiding us if we feel lost, teaching us when we don't know what to do, loving us at every moment - even when we feel unloveable, comforting us in times of sadness, providing us rest when we need it and then sending us back on our way when it's time.

If I didn't have God, I don't think I could have done life. God poured his strength, his love and his healing power into me, so I could live a life of freedom and purpose - the life he intended for me.

I love that God is with me at every moment. I can have the mentality that my life is a team effort. I don't have to do all the hard stuff alone. Imagine the life of people who DO do it alone.

I pray that today you have a fresh realisation of God and his incredible presence. I pray that today, you have a renewed sense of security in your Creator and Father.

MY PRAYER
Father, Thankyou for being with me. Thankyou that I don't have to walk this journey alone. Thankyou for this reminder that you are my rock, my salvation, my shield, my shepherd and many more things. Thankyou for never giving up on me and loving me all the time. Help me teach this to my children as they grow up, and start living their own life. Help me show them that they don't have to be alone.
Amen

Friday, October 9, 2009

This will blow your mind!

1 Corinthians 2:9
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love him.”


It's the beginning of October, and because I am a true Christmas crazy woman, I have started preparing. I've started making some gifts, I've started creating table decorations, I've started planning and looking at recipes. I've got most of my kids Christmas presents, I have everything all sorted about who is getting what, etc. I'm seriously deranged when it comes to Christmas. I love this time of year!!

When I host Christmas, I always try to make it as special as possible. I set the table beautifully, matching dinnerware, the crystal, and on each plate there will be in silver boxes, filled with all sorts of little things - special personal gifts for each person who shares my Christmas table. This year I will be including some homemade rocky road, handmade Christmas decorations and other trinkets that will be special to each individual.

Why do I go to all this bother? Because I love my family. This year I will have my parents and my grandparents sharing our family table. It will be such a priveledge to celebrate the birth of our Saviour and to watch our kids go absolutely beserk with excitement. I love these people and I it's no bother to me to plan and organise for months, to make this occasion as special as possible.

Now in my mind, my amazing food, my amazing gifts, my amazing table decor will bless my family and make their Christmas just that bit more special.

God has made preparations for those who love Him. And I can tell you right now, it's going to be flippin-fantastic!! God's standards will make my Christmas plans look like rubbish! No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has in store for us.

Gift wrapped Pictures, Images and Photos

First of all.. I'm so glad that God has a plan. He's prepared. This eases my pedantic little mind who has to have everything in order and in it's little box or else I feel like I am losing it! God is a God of order - he has prepared something. But not only something, it's something I can't imagine! It's far beyond my own expectations!

Doesn't that just blow your mind a little bit? God has much more prepared for us than we can come up with in our own minds. I am so happy to be serving such a God who loves us so much, that he has plans for us. We are his kids, and he wants us to have the very very best. It rocks to be a child of God!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

It's not about me...

I heard a really good analogy last night that really spoke to me - and I want to share it with you.

The analogy was of a spotlight. When the spotlight is directly shining in our faces or ON us, we struggle to see clearly. If I shone a spotlight in your face and then called you to me, you wouldn't be able to see your path. When you are in the spotlight you aren't confident in your journey or in yourself, because the attention is on you. But if you use the spotlight to light the way, to show you your path - then you can walk towards your goal with confidence and with clarity.

spot light Pictures, Images and Photos

As you know, I'm really struggling. I struggle with sudden change, and this whole changing churches thing, my son's condition, the life changes we have had to make, my own plans that I had mapped out being totally destroyed has really knocked me for six! My path has shifted - I feel like a rug has been ripped out underneath me. I'm struggling to find my footing, trying to work out where I am going, what I will do, what will God do etc etc. The spotlight is on me. It's all about me. My feelings. My anxiety. My worry. My panic. My constant wondering. But it's not about me. If I take the spotlight off myself for a moment and use it to look around me, then my path will be clearer.

I need to keep focus on what God has told me, instead of being so introspective. It's not about me. It's NOT about me. It's not about ME.

I can almost hear God saying that cliche phrase "It's not you, it's me."

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

and of course I have to give you the crystal clear Message version:
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Pray for me. I have to keep telling myself all this stuff over and over, to get it into my spirit. So I can face this new direction with peace in my heart and confidence that my steps are ordered by the Lord and my race has been set before me. Hopefully soon all this will bypass my head, destroy the anxiety and settle straight into my heart.

MY PRAYER
Lord, the best thing about you is that you see where I am at, I don't have to pretend to have it all together with you. I pray that you will help me conquor this worry and this feeling of imbalance. I pray you will steady me as I trust in you to continue on in this. Thankyou for your Word. I pray that it will be a lethal blow - as a sword is, to this barrage of panic that keeps rising in me. I want to trust in you. I do trust you - it's just that my head forgets sometimes. I want to believe that your plans are better than my plans. You won't abandon me and you are still going to give me the desires of my heart - and fulfill your promises to me.
I pray you give me the strength and the courage to face and deal with my son's issues, and help me be the very best mother I can be to him. Help me show him love, compassion and patience.
Thankyou Lord for continuing to love me and being patient with me as I try to process this all.
Amen

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A response to Psalm 139

Psalm 139 (The Message)
1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in!

Thankyou Lord that you are always watching over me. That where I go, whatever part of the journey I am on, whatever happens to me - that you are right there. Thankyou that I can look back at parts of my life and see you there, I can look forward and KNOW you are there. Thankyou that your presence is permeated in my life.

7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

Thankyou that nothing can seperate me from your love, from your care and from your Spirit. Thankyou that you will see me through the good times and the bad times. I love that you are a constant in my life - even when life isn't so constant.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Thankyou Lord that I am not a mistake. Even though I don't always understand the hows and whys, I know that I am created in your image, for you and by you. I love that you know me inside out, you know of every single cell that makes my physical being, you know my deepest thoughts and dreams - and you knew all this before I was even born!

Lord I love you. You are such a good and gracious God. Thankyou for encouraging me and growing me and walking with me. Thankyou that you never abandon me and I can always turn to you when the road gets rocky. Thankyou that you have made the effort for me.

Amen

Jesus hug Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Barriers are man made, not God made!

Today I listened to a lecture about Jesus and his actions in the temple. It was very interesting. The temple was a series of barriers to God's presence. The first barrier was to the Gentiles and "unclean", then the next barrier was to the women, then the next was the men.... and so forth. I'm not here to talk about the ins and outs of the temple - but the fact that men put in place exclusions to God's presence. They had made God's presence - his Holy of Holies - unavailable to certain people.

When Jesus died on the cross, the curtain seperating the Holy of Holies - the place where God resided - where his presence was - was torn in two. This barrier was destroyed - God's presence was now for everyone.

Temple Curtain torn - b&W Pictures, Images and Photos

Here we are, some 2000 years later - and we still have barriers in place. Either we make them for ourselves, or make them for others.

We have to be careful that we are not guilty of behaving like the temple priests, but putting people in a place where they don't feel they can access God freely. We can do this by our actions - our condemnation of others, hypocrisy religious oppression, social oppression etc etc. It's our job, as people who are priveledged enough to access God whenever we feel like it, to make others feel they can too, if they want to. It doesn't matter what they look like, what their lifestyle, their choices in life, their personal hygiene, their race, their sexual preference etc. God is not off limits to anyone. We have no right to create road blocks and exclude others.

Jesus died that horrible death for ALL. None of us are worthy in any way, shape or form. But he died, to save you, to save me, to save everyone. Exclusion ended 2000 years ago when Jesus said ".. it is finished."

Crucified Pictures, Images and Photos


And it is finished! Thankyou Lord that there is not one single person on this earth that is not able to come to you. Thankyou that you died for every single person, whether they asked for it or not. Thankyou that everyone can be in relationship with you, no matter what.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I found this tool

Read the Bible in 1 year

So I am going to read it from beginning to end - starting October 1st.

I hope and pray that this will build my knowledge further and so I am better equipped to use my giftings and reach others.

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I'm quite excited about starting this. This is a good way to get into a regular pattern of reading God's Word - and hopefully I pick up some really good treasure as I go along. I can't wait to get to know God more intimately and know more about what he wants for his people.

As I glean, I'll write what I discover in here.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Reading the Bible right through...

I'm thinking I want to do that - from start to finish. Read it like one big book... which it is!! :)

Have any of you read the Bible from Genesis to Revelations? How did you do it? Is it better on audio or reading it yourself? One chapter at a time? One book at a time?

I was thinking I might do it as a 2010 thing - but I figure, why wait? Why not start now? So I am going to try work out the best way to tackle this (with your help!) and then jump in!!


PS: What do you think of the blog layout change? I figure I am going through a period of change in my life - and I also got sick of the stupid bug in my links. :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Explaning the above two posts.

Now I am at liberty to speak freely of what has been torturing me this past few days. Tonight we had a meeting with my Pastor and have had to hand in our resignation. This is the church I have been with through thick and thin for almost 13 years. This is the church that my husband and I have been involved in, been in ministry in some form or other for our whole married life. We didn't leave because we were offended of that the church is going off track - the church is amazing and we are very reluctant to leave it.

My son has a neurological disorder coupled with anxiety. They are guessing that his complications experienced at birth have contributed to this. My son can't handle the noise that a group of people produce - his hearing is affected by this neurological disorder - so he feels like the world is screaming at him. When he starts crashing and freaking out, the church doesn't have the facilities for me to take him out and calm him down in a calm and quiet place. Every week he cries, screams and freaks out. Every week I spend most of the time I am supposed to be in church, trying to keep him calm and quiet.

For a month in the evening we have been visiting another church, and they have an amazing sunday school program. My son loves it there. After we deal with the seperation issue, he is really well adjusted to it, and loves being at Sunday School. He talks about it all the time. My daughter glows with excitement about this sunday school. It's such a positive place for them to be. I can sit in the service and not worry about my son at this church and actually participate from start to finish without having to leave the room!

To continue to take my son to our current church would be cruel. He can't cope with it. His psychologist did recommend avoiding places he can't cope with until he has had proper treatment. We came to understand this week that his condition won't get better in a few months, it could be years before he acquires the maturity to self calm and problem solve - but at the moment we are responsible to do that for him. So we are responsible to expose him to environments that he can cope with and that make him feel safe and secure.

So tonight we handed in our resignation. Last night I felt sick, I was so worried about leaving the place where I had been for so long. I was terrified of becoming a "nobody" after being a person of influence and leadership. What if my talents weren't recognised in this new place? What if my life in ministry is over?

I spoke to a dear friend about this (whose son suffers with a similar thing) expressing my fears, my worries and God used her to fill me with such a peace about the whole thing. I feel right in my spirit that this is the next step where God is taking us. This is a part of Donna's email that I dont ever want to forget...

.....the gifts that God has given you, you will soon make your mark in the new church. The last one was just practice, you know what you need to do now. It isn't all for nothing. You've gained new skills and you've used the gifts God has given you very wisely, He didn't put you through all that only to take it away from you.


...You WILL realise your dreams of preaching, God will see to that but you have to let Him guide you. You've found the perfect church for your boy, maybe it's really where God is leading you too???



Talking with my husband about this last night, I believe that this is part of growth for me - relinquishing control on my world, and just believing that all things work together for good. I believe God is stripping me of what I am basing my identity on and bringing me into a whole new era. I have turned a corner in my walk, and now step out confidently knowing that God will never leave me or desert me.

My prayer of "God help me deal with my spirit of pride" - has come to pass. God has ripped out the rug from underneath me, and I have been placed back at the bottom of the heap. I have no one but God to rely on. No one knows what I am capable of, except him. God has answered my prayer about stretching me and growing me. This will be a time of dependence on him as we grow and travel this new road.

So this is the start of a new part in my journey. As of November I start a new path, and walk with confidence, running the race that has been set before me.

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God speaks again...

You know that decision I thought I may have to make? Turns out I have to make it. I knew it. I will explain later in full - when I am at liberty to speak freely. But I was agonising over it again, my heart crying out to God, "What will I do? What will become of me? Will the visions and dreams you have given me happen now?"

Then God spoke to me. In the words of a song I remember vaguely from my early teens.

I Have a Destiny by Mark Altrogge
I have a destiny I know I shall fulfil
I have a destiny in that city on a hill
I have a destiny and it's not an empty wish
For I know I was born for such a time as this

Long before the ages You predestined me
To walk in all the works You have prepared for me
You've given me a part to play in history
To help prepare a bride for eternity
I did not choose You but You have chosenme
And appointed me for bearing fruit abundantly
I know You will complete the work begun in me
By the power of Your Spirit working mightily

© 1986 People of Destiny International/Word Music


Thankyou God!! I will remember this as I go forward.

Will be back in the next day or two to talk about this mysterious dillema! :)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

God's whisper.

NOTE: This is not a Bible study - mainly personal reflection.

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Ever have those moments where you feel like life is on the brink of being shaken up BIG TIME! That things are going to change? That sooner or a later a decison will have to be made to change your life forever.

I'm at a place like that right now. There are circumstances in my life that are causing me to believe that I am going to have to make a huge change, for the greater good of someone else. I can't explain just yet what it is - but I will when the time is right.

I feel panic rise in my throat at the very thought of it. What if we have to make this change? What will happen to us? Where will that leave us? We will have to start all over again. Will we be ok? Will we be happy? Will we have the same opportunities? What will become of my dreams and hopes? I feel sick, sad and nervous. Too many urky feelings rolling around inside me.

Another thing - I don't know 100% if I even have to make this decision or not... I know you must be thinking why even worry about it when you aren't even sure it's coming? Call it gut instinct.

And in the middle of my whirling thoughts and rising fears and worries comes a small still voice that speaks through the confusions. "I am able."

God you are able to pave the way, to give clear direction, to ease my worry and to continue to be faithful - even if our life has to change. God you are able to prepare me for this and to honor it. God fill my heart with peace, help me trust in you and believe that whatever happens from now on is for the greater good. I pray that you comfort my crying spirit. I want to trust you. I want to know that whatever happens, your hand is on us, your spirit surrounds us and your blessing is poured out.

Amen.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Something interesting...

I watched "Son of God" (BBC) today and was absolutely blown away by their historical content relevant to Jesus. One thing the narrator said that really interested me was that Jesus sought out the suffering, the weak, the hurting, the sick and the afflicted. He hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors and other despised members of societs of that time.

The fact that Jesus didn't go out and try make a good name for himself with the rich, the wise, the priests and religious scholars says so much to the kind of God we serve. He isn't interested in social status, what your past or your present is, or how destroyed you feel. God wants to reach out and touch you where you are at - just like Jesus reached out and touched the people around him where they were at. He saw the bleeding woman's heart as well as her physical condition, reached out to her and met her needs. He noticed the blind man who would have been ignored and healed him. He saw where he was at, and reached out to him. He noticed the children, who at the time were not valued members of society - but yet he called them to himsself and blessed them. There are many many illustrations of Jesus doing this....

So to my point. We are called to follow Jesus. What should we be doing? Should we be trying to make a good name for ourselves with Pastors, ministers and other Christians? Or should we be out in the World, trying to make a difference. Offering people a hope in their hopelessness? Offering them a God who will meet them where they are at and touch them, heal them and save them?

We need to move outside our four walls of the church and do what Jesus would want. Bring them in. Help them. Speak to them. NOTICE them. Speak life into their situation. Love them.

We are not too good for them, because Jesus, the perfect Son of God didn't think he was.

MY PRAYER
Bring people across my path, Father, that I can speak to, show love to and show compassion to. Use me and give me the words to say to speak into their lives and give the best example of you. Thankyou for challenging me to move outside the church and reminding me that the church members already know about you, but there are more outside who don't. Thankyou for showing me what Jesus did, and help me follow his example.

Amen

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Run this race...

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Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

I want to focus on a few things in this verse.

1. ...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us
This race is set. It's destination, it's route, it's hurdles - everything is set before us. It's what God has set. You have no control of your race - or your spiritual walk - only if you run it or not and run it well.

1 Corinthians 9:26 ...so I run-but not without a clear goal ahead of me.

We know where we are headed in life, we have no excuse of getting lost on the way, unless you aren't paying attention. So pay attention!! Remember God's teachings, remember what God says to you and what he speaks to you about. Remember the promises God has given you. Remember that each hurdle you arrive at - the race doesn't stop - you don't halt and don't move. You leap over it with confidence and with the strength God gives you.

But the most important thing to remember that my race is MY race. You can't run my race, I can't run yours. We each have a race to run, and we can't expect another to finish it for us. We have to run and run with endurance the path that God has set for you.

Your journey is not my journey, my journey is not yours. You can learn from me, I can learn from you, but we race individually.

2....let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely

I don't know about you, but carrying around 10 bags of potatoes while I run around the neighbourhood doesn't thrill me. Carrying 1 bag from the shop to the car is exhausting enough. It weighs me down, it slows me down, it makes me feel awkward, heavy and tired. The weight of sin does the same thing, it slows us down, it makes us feel tired spiritually, we feel awkward and can't run our race effectively. But we are told to lay them aside and run with endurance. Get rid of the weight, get rid of our habitual sin that clings to us. We can run with endurance when we don't have a tonne of sin dragging us down.


MY PRAYER
Thankyou Father for reminding me of this scripture. Thankyou that I don't have to map out my own course but you have set it for me to run. Thankyou that you sent your Son, to show us the way and teach us how to run it well. I ask that you keep showing me the weights I can leave off so I can run it effectively and well. Amen

Thursday, September 3, 2009

You are what you think.

Proverbs 4:23 Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.

So what goes on in that head of yours?

In your mind there is a continual stream of thinking. But what kind of thinking? What is it saying to you? Because how you think, so your life will be.

When you see a Gothic person, or a prostitute - what do you think?
When you see someone you don't like very much - what do you think?
When you see someone who has done you wrong, what do you think?
When you hear a sermon that convicts you and stirs your Spirit, what are your thoughts?
When you hear a new idea what are your thoughts?

It says in the Bible that what you sow, you reap. What your thoughts are is what you live. If you think critically about people, you life will be one of criticism. If you think bitterly, you will live a life of bitterness. Do you play out arguments in your head? Do you think about what you SHOULD have said to that person? Do you think about how you can be revengeful? Do you think in truth? In love? With compassion? - This is how your live will be.

We have the ability to control how our live will be - by controlling our thoughts. It IS possible - so the excuse "I can't help what I think.." doesn't have a leg to stand on. You can control your thoughts by nipping the less than desirable thoughts in the bud and forcing yourself to think something more positive. If you start thinking critically, stop yourself and think something more constructive. If you are dwelling on past hurts, remind yourself that it's only destroying you - not the other person. Speak God's Word into negative situations - do anything you can to stop yourself thinking this way. This will soon become your habit. If you are used to thinking with love, with kindness, with compassion, your negativity will dissapear - and this will be shaping your life.

Matthew 15:18 But the words that come out of your mouth come from your heart.
What you habitually think, will end up flowing from your heart to your mouth. If you are a whiner, whinger, always complaining, then look very carefully at how you think. Whinging and whining all the time are not life-giving words. They bring people down, they are not uplifting nor are they showing that you are reigning in life. (If you have genuine problems and it's not your habit to whine and complain about everything, it's different!!!) If you criticize people, the church, the world, etc - then look carefully inside you. Criticism does not give life to it's hearers. It brings people down, it can hurt, it can destroy.

How much better it would be for love, God's Word, kindness, peace, and goodness to flow from our mouths!!

Phillipians 4:8 In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.

Who wants to live a noble, right, pure, lovely and honorable life?

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MY PRAYER
Lord help me bind the thoughts that I don't want to shape my life. Help me remember that it's your will that I live a life that is noble, right, pure, lovely and honorable - and that it is my own doing if I am not living that way. I take responsibility for my thinking and the way my life is. I own that it's my responsibility to change it for the better. Thankyou Lord for teaching me how I can have the best life possible. Amen

Sunday, August 30, 2009

It's Spring Cleaning time!

spring cleaning Pictures, Images and Photos

Today I've started spring cleaning. I've just finished my ensuite and half way through my bedroom. I'm exhausted, hot and sweaty. It's no easy effort at all. But I know at the end of my Spring Clean my house will be sparkling clean and organised.

Spring cleaning can be applied to life in general. How about cleaning up our lives? Is what we watch on TV considered clean? Does it glorify smut? Does it rejoice in evil? Do we spend long periods of time surfing the net and ignore the Word of God that is on the shelf? Do we prefer to chat to friends online over chatting to God? Do we have areas in our lives that need "cleaning"? Like our tongue? Do we prefer to have a gossip and speak scathingly, or can we retrain it to speak positively and honorably? Do we prefer to yell and scream at our partner instead of expressing our anger in a way that says "I love you, even though I am angry at you".
What about our minds? Do we think honorably about our "enemies" or do we think about revenge, how much we hate them or other negative thoughts?

There are so many areas in our life that need cleaning up. No one has arrived and is perfect. We can't be expected to clean it all up at once and be perfect immediately. It takes one day at a time, one addressing at a time, one prayer at a time, one repentance at a time etc.

Evaluate your life - is there areas that need to change? Is there areas that need cleaning up? I certainly do!!

It won't be easy - in fact it will be hard work. But the rewards are great. The satisfaction of growth and change is great!

I encourage you today, to spend some time in prayer and ask God to show you areas in your life that need a spring clean, then get into it!!

No intermissions here!

Today God has done amazing things. I'm just so... I can't explain how it is. He's been chatting with me pretty much all day.

This morning the visiting speaker spoke about your dreams - what you want to do for God. He spoke about speaking in faith, moving in faith and living in faith. He spoke about building our dream up - because speaking negatively will tear it down. He suggested using contradicting words - contradict your current circumstances and speak where you want to be. He said that "Faith comes by hearing the word of God" - and hearing it just on Sunday is not enough. We need to get into the Word of God ourself and meditate on what we read - this brings about faith. Not only will we hear from God, but we can speak scripture into our circumstances - these are promises and very powerful.
He also said to use "fighting words". David when he went to take out Goliath, had opposition and road blocks. But to overcome this David spoke of his past victories to build himself up and not be discouraged.
Also we are to talk about where we are going to create a clear picture in our mind. We are also to look at where we want to be and start to break it down to make it attainable. How can I improve? How can I grow so I can be there?

This is it in a nutshell - I only got a few notes down, because I was being tackled by my 3 year old son! :)

Then tonight I received a word of knowledge by a man who operates in the prophetic. Amazing words and he spoke right into my situation - he knew where I was at, what was going on and what was going to happen. God's message is crystal clear. Every day he builds on it somehow. Everyday he speaks into my heart and talks to me.
I am constantly amazed with how God moves and speaks - I don't think that amazement will ever stop.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you. But it does to me. I don't want to forget this time. I want to look back at where I was and think, "wow, that was great, but look where I am now. Look at how far God has brought me."

May God be praised and glorified in all I say and do.
Amen.

Monday, August 24, 2009

A double whammy

Today while I was vacumming the carpets, I was listening to Pastor Josh Greenwood, speaking to the church about prayer. Not only are we to pray for breakthrough, but we are to persist. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. Keep praying.

Like Jacob who wrestled all night with that angel - he must have been tired, but he wrestled and asking for a blessing. Then he got a blow to his thigh which would have hurt him - but he kept pushing past that and wrestling until he got his blessing.

We can't give up in praying. We have to persist. Don't just ask once and then walk away discouraged. God wants us to have commitment and persistance, and keep on praying.

When that message was over, I decided to listen to another one by another speaker from a completely different church in 2005!! And guess what that one was about?

Pressing in! Praying and keep on praying. See your vision. See your dreams. Look for the answers. Be committed to it.

It's time. I no longer will sit there and wait patiently for God to bring things about, I am going to step out, and pray for it, believe for it and watch for it.

God is preparing me for greater things, I don't want to let those things slip by and live my life with unfulfilled dreams. It's time to go away, lock myself away in my "prayer closet" and start praying more.

God really has been taking me on a journey over these last few weeks and I believe they are preparing me for the future. I can't be passive in this any longer. I am either committed to make this happen, or I'm not. I either will spend the time praying for it and not let my life slip by without ever fulfilling my dreams and living with purpose.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I'm ready

I've been saying for quite a while that I would give my testimony, I would share where God has brought me - well today is that day.

Romans 8:28 And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose.

I always start with this scripture. It's helped shape me and gave me a hope when there was no hope. This scripture answers all the questions I ask about the why's and hows of everything that is essentially me. God gave me this scripture when I was a teenager, right when I was at a very dark place in my life. Let’s face it, being a teenager can be a really confusing time at the best of times, trying to find out who you are, where you fit in, what you believe, what you think. Teens can find life hard to deal with – and they can be as normal as they come. I wasn't what you would classify "normal" - my circumstances - ME was very unusual. So God saw me where I was at, and gave me something to hang onto. And I hung onto I did. With white knuckled grip I hung on, because if I didn't, I would fall into the black, swirling hole that was at my feet. This is the first scripture that flew right past the past the rubbish and it was planted directly into my soul. No other scripture made such an impact during those times. God knew what I needed and he made sure it hit the spot.

So... on with my testimony.

But my story doesn't begin with me. It actually begins with someone else.

A young girl. A relatively happy, sweet girl. She was a Christian and involved in a church, she had a loving family, pets, a job, friends. But in March 1978 that girl, not long after her 18th birthday, her life was changed forever by a devastating event. She was brutally raped by a “friend” of the family. He left her violated, shamed and emotionally shattered. She was in her own backyard when it happened. She screamed for help while it happened – but no help came.

She reported it – but the law weren’t much help. They gave her a mock trial, and asked her some questions that would be asked. She couldn't go through all that, and have other's blame her for it happening to her. So she dropped it and carried on.

She didn’t want to tell her family. Why? Why wouldn’t you tell your family something terribly had happened to you? Why couldn’t she count on their support? When she was a child, she had been molested by a family member. She told her mother – but her mother didn’t believe her – or didn’t want to do anything about it. This happens a lot even today. I know of many women who have been molested and raped as children, and when they told the people who were supposed to protect them, they did nothing about it. Women today hear their kids have been interfered with, and they ask “What do I do?” If the girl’s mother didn’t believe her then, would she be believed when she said she had been raped? She didn’t think so, so she remained silent.

The poor girl became sick. She had lost weight, she was fainting a lot and she was throwing up everything she ate. She thought she was dying of leukaemia. She went to her doctor. “You are pregnant” was the diagnosis.

She finally told her parents that she was pregnant. Her mother was disappointed in her but she handled it ok, but her father was absolutely crushed. He didn’t speak to her for 6 weeks. His disappointment in her was so great and that devastated the girl so much. She didn’t say a word about the rape. And her parents never knew the truth for a further 6 years.

When she started showing the people in her church judged her. They assumed she had fooled around. It’s a very easy judgement to make in churches, a young woman with a pregnant belly and without a wedding ring comes in, the automatic assumption is that they have been messing around. Maybe not so much today, but back in those times the judgement was severe. Severe AND very wrong. She was isolated because of the gossip and the assumptions made by her church family.
She had no one for support, except her sister, who had become pretty suspicious. She KNEW her sister, and knew she wasn’t the type to fool about.

The girl didn’t want this baby. She didn’t feel like she could do it alone. She didn’t think she really had a choice. So she took steps to have an abortion. She saw her doctor who was a Christian man. He strongly recommended that she didn’t abort the baby. He didn’t think she was psychologically strong enough to handle the guilt of the rape as well as the guilt of an abortion.

She seriously thought about putting the baby up for adoption – even her parents had offered to adopt the baby. But for some reason didn’t follow through with it.

In December 1978 – she had a baby girl by caesarean section.
When the baby was six weeks old, the “friend” and “Father” held the tiny bundle in his arms, looked down at her and said “She isn’t mine” and gave her back to the girl. That girl felt a surge of determination. “Right then! She ISN’T yours, she’s MINE!”

When most Mummies are filled with love and wonder at their new babies, the poor girl felt nothing. She was empty. She really wished she could love her baby. One night she watched her daughter sleeping in her cot, crying because she couldn’t love her baby. She did something that would change the baby girl’s and her own history forever. She did something that would change everything. She cried out to God: “God help me love this baby the very best way I can" God answered the cry of that young mother.

I am that baby. I’m all grown up, and I am loved by my mother as if I was conceived in love. No woman could love a child more than I am loved. She loves me with a love that God planted in her heart. It’s more than the love of a mother – it’s the love of The Father as well.

Romans 8:28 ALL things work together for GOOD to those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose.

HOW is this good???
Romans 8:28 gives me the answer to my questions.
Why?? All things.
Why am I here? Why did sperm meet egg THAT time? Working together for good.
How can you stand by and watch something like that happen? My purpose.
I remember a few years ago going over this verse while reading The Purpose Driven Church. I cried tears of rage and disgust when I read “God planned your birth” What kind of sick God did this? But God is just so powerful and mighty. He took my wounded heart in his hands, and showed me that he could turn a tragedy into a triumph. For rape to become a positive thing takes a miracle.

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For the women who have experienced sexual abuse in any shape or form, there are going to be very few of them that view it as a positive thing. Sexual abuse destroys lives – but thankfully I serve a God that is into mosaic masterpieces – and is an expert at piecing lives back together.
And I am thankful for God’s ability to heal and restore broken lives, because my life got very complicated and very messy.

My life as a child was very good - I was very blessed to grow up in a Christian home. I have attended church all of my life. I was happy, loved and secure. When I was almost 2 years old, a young man fell in love with me. His parents thought I was the best thing since sliced bread. This man who fell in love with me then turned his attentions on my Mum. They fell in love and were married when I was 3 years old. 2 brothers came along within 2 years and I had myself a family.
Now to clarify, this man my Mum married is my Dad. I will always refer to him as Dad – I will never ever call my biological father “Dad” just to eliminate any confusion. Dad may not have contributed to my creation, but he certainly contributed to my life like a Dad should.

When I was young and right up to my late teens, my perception of God was a bit warped. In my generation End times videos were popular, scaring the gajeebers out of every kid in the place. I was scared of God. And Satan.. I was in a pentecostal church! I had heard about him too! One Sunday School teacher we had was having a bad life and she used to scream and yell at us, and make us learn the Lord’s Prayer. I was quite scared of her – and if she was teaching the love of God – maybe I was better off without it. I was scared enough to read my bible, scared enough to pray just in case a bolt of lightening hit me. Every day I would give my heart to Jesus, just in case. But my warped views of God was not reality. I had never heard of a God who loved me, or wanted me just as I was. I never knew that God was someone who could protect me, and be my friend. I guess people just assumed that I would know this.

Life went on all hunky dory. I had a very innocent upbringing. I didn’t question why I was at my parents wedding, it never occurred to me to ask. I never asked why I looked nothing like Dad. Though plenty of other people did. It just never clicked. I just thought I was the spitting image of my Mum, and there was no room for Dad’s genes. Afterall my brothers didn’t look anything like Mum. SOMEONE had to look like her!!

One day when I was 11 my Biological father rang some old friends of our family and asked our whereabouts. He lied saying he had lost our number. That’s how he tracked us down. He called my mum and started asking questions about me and wanted photos of me. My Mum as you can tell absolutely freaked!! Her greatest fears were being realized. She was always so scared that he would come and kidnap me, or just appear and want custody of me or something like that. She HAD to tell me where I came from, how I came to be. Just in case I was approached by him. So I was sat down and given the birds and the bees talk.

I don’t know how Mum did it, it was such a nice casual chat about how the human body worked and how to get pregnant. Then she very calmly told me the very worst news I had ever heard in my life. My world as I knew it crumbled into a million pieces. My dad wasn’t my dad afterall. Instead the man who had helped make me was a monster and worst of all, HE DIDN”T WANT ME! For 6 months or so I was just confused. A little kid can’t absorb this kind of information easily. I was in a daze about who I was. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was no longer the daughter of Mum and Dad. I was no longer the sister of my brothers – I was only half a sister, and a step daughter.

Once a friend from school asked me why I was in my parents wedding. I didn’t know what to say. She said “Your mum must have had sex before she was married.” I hotly denied it! “She did not!” “Well what then?” How could I explain it?? I couldn’t. I just had to shut my mouth and let her bad mouth my Mum. I hated them thinking that my Mum messed around before she was married. I was so ashamed of how I had come to be. I felt guilty, though I can’t explain why. Here started the long term effects in a victim of sexual abuse – I may not have been the dirrect victim, but I certainly had the effects of sexual abuse in me. I experienced guilt and shame.

Life began to change for me. The way I saw things, the way I reacted to things, and the way I felt things. Imagine a pot with potting mix in it. This symbolizes my life. A seed of rejection was planted in my pot and it began to grow. On the branches sprouted anger, rebellion and resentment. And a lot of this was directed at my Dad. We clashed all the time. I yelled at him, screamed at him, he was at the brunt of my anger.

By the time I was 13 I was a volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. My anger was hot and uncontrollable. The anger branch that had grown was bearing fruit. From that plant a branch of hatred had also grown. I hated everyone. No exception.
But I really really hated my Dad… and I had no problem in telling him so. Thinking about it now, I had issues with a Father figure, a man who didn’t want me, who didn’t love me, and couldn’t care less if I was alive or dead. The only Dad I had unfortunately copped my emotional pain.

I used to threaten my parents when things didn’t go my way that I would go and find my real father and go live with him. This was totally irrational, I didn’t WANT to meet him. I didn’t WANT to live with him. I didn’t want anything to do with him. The only time I wanted to see him was just before I inflicted some act of violence on him. I only said it hurt my parents when I said those things. As you can imagine it nearly killed my Mum every time I said that. In retaliation she would say “He didn’t want you”… feeding my plant!

One day after a particularly bad fight, my Mum spat out in anger “I never asked for you to be born.” I was so incredibly hurt by that. I remember that day so well. It felt like I had been physically punched in the chest. I took that as “I didn’t want you either.” My rejection roots were getting fertilized. I was still going to church at this time. Being a good girl on the outside. But on the inside I was vile. I smiled, participated in the service, but when I got home, I was another story.

People used to say “God is going to use you” YEAH RIGHT!! They didn’t know what was in my heart. Now at this time would have been a great time to hear that I could rely on God and he could help me and carry me through… but that sermon was never preached at my church. Because I grew up in a church, people assumed I would know that God was the answer. NEVER ASSUME.
When I was 14 I went to Youth Alive once and decided to give Christianity a go. I was baptized because that was what I was supposed to do. But from there, people assumed I knew what to do, how to be in relationship with Christ etc. But I had no idea. So my Christian walk died not long after getting started.

I just kept getting worse and worse. My broken life was getting poisonous. My rejection plant was growing too big for me to control. By the time I was 15 my plant was bearing fruit left right and center. Verbal abuse, hot anger, intense hatred, losing my temper, foul moods, attitude problems. I was abusive on a daily basis. Emotionally and mentally. I was extremely manipulative, extremely angry, I was withdrawn outside my own home. I didn’t become close to anyone and I didn’t trust anyone.

My soul had become poisonous. It seemed that I screamed out anger and hatred every time I opened my mouth. I refused to cry, I saw it as a sign of weakness, so I bottled it in for years and years. It made my soul sick.

Then on one happy day – Feel my sarcasm. Dad got promoted and we had to move to an outback town in Australia… I saw it as the butt end of the world. I said “God if you love me, you won’t send me there.” I was in a good school, I was “happy”. I didn’t want to start again. On my 16th birthday we moved to the outback.

Romans 8:28 And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose.

ALL THINGS work together for good. How can any good come from being shipped off to the butt end of the world? It was stinking hot, there was one main street, I could walk from one end of the street to the other in a few minutes. It was small, quiet and the place seemed to breed flies. It was dry most of the year, and the times it did rain it flooded!

From my 16th birthday, I turned my back on God. He obviously didn’t love me either, he had turned his back on me. He didn’t answer my prayer. He sent me to a place that may as well be the middle of Africa!! I figured since he had a hand in shipping me off to the worst place on earth, he must not really care about me much. Which was another dose of manure on my thriving plant.

For 8 months I became a monster. I fought against church and religion. I was forced to go… even though I didn’t want to. So… I made sure I made my parents life miserable before church so they would have a hard time getting into the mood for worship. I deliberately read comics and Virgina Andrew novels during the sermon, I was rude to anyone who spoke to me. I made them regret ever making themselves known to our family. Pretty soon people got the drift. The pastors didn’t say much to me. In fact they steered clear of me. I was trouble, too much trouble for them to deal with.

A few months after we moved there, new pastors took over the church. And they loved me!! I may have been trouble but they were gracious and kind. They were so nice to me, no matter how nasty I was. This was new to me!! What on earth was wrong with them?? Why didn’t they react to my foul mouth like everyone else did? They invited me to stay with them on their property with their family, they encouraged me and remained neutral at all times. They never once judged me, or told me that I needed to change. They never told me to treat my parents with respect, that I was no good, that I was a nasty piece of work. They just loved me – showing by their actions the love that God had to offer me.

The pastors invited a youth group from the city over to minister to our youth. I was complaining about how I had it tough. That I was in a boring town, my parents were over bearing and strict that it was all hopeless and my life totally sucked. Everyone listened sympathetically… except a girl named Rosie. This feisty little lady was not into giving ungodly counsel. She had the answer! She had hope! And she wasn’t going to keep it a secret! She said one line – and this line hit me – hard. “Get over it and get God.” So simple… but it hit me like a fist in the stomach. It was uncomfortable, it was confronting, it was thought provoking.

It began to stir up thoughts I had never had before. Can God really help me? My view of God was somewhat distant. Someone who didn’t love and didn’t care, who just sat up there and watched what was going on, like a soap opera on TV. Sort of how I saw my biological father. Someone who just doesn’t’ care about anyone. Creates us then walks away. That week, I was ministered to and taught that God was someone who was approachable, and real. Not some pie in the sky. God loved me, right at that moment! He didn’t care if I was a mess. He didn’t care that I had a foul temper and an angry heart. He didn’t care what my emotional state was. He wanted me to come to him. He wanted me to be friends with him.

I gave my life over to Christ, handing over a broken decayed vessel. God took that vessel and began his mosaic masterpiece.

You would think life would get better after that. God had control of my life, I was in relationship with him… it didn’t get better. In fact it worsened dramatically. Satan must have loved my life being so messed up. He was fighting tooth and nail to get my soul back. He obviously saw great potential in me, the same potential God saw. And there was NO WAY he was going to let me go without a fight.Also that great big ugly plant that was deeply rooted into my life had not been dealt with. So I was struggling to live the life that Christ would want me to live, when I had hatred, bitterness and anger still in my heart.

Not long after I gave my life to Christ, I was filled with the Holy Spirit. And from then on life was hunky dory…. My plant magically disappeared, I became a woman of love and grace and peace. And that’s the end of the story…… NOT!

Here began the most turbulent time of my life I had a tug of war going on between my new life and old. The plant was still alive in my heart and was deeply rooted in my life. The Holy Spirit was also in my heart and had a strong hold of my life. The two of them did NOT get along at all. They fought all the time.

The fights I had with my family grew ten times worse if that is possible. I would get up at 4am and study God’s word. I would pray, I would just sit in God’s presence…. And then a few hours later scream and abuse the people around me. How can my heart have two such powerful forces in it? In short, it couldn’t – one had to go. It was either that tree or God.

Life for me just got worse and worse. I was fighting all the time. My parents used to condemn me saying that if God was truly in my life and that I had the influence of the Holy Spirit in me, I would not be acting like this, which infuriated me more. I was struggling to be Christ-like but I was doing it on my own… which is a bad move. I was failing… and I hate to fail.

At the end of my 17th year, after another bitter argument, I’d had enough! I was standing at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes. I was so sick of it all. I was so sick of living like this. I was so sick of fighting. I was so sick of feeling so wretched. I was sick of hurting. I was sick of my life. I didn’t want to live anymore. It wasn’t worth it. I picked up a knife used to cut meat, and began to think about how I could end it. No one else was home. I could slash my wrists and be done with it. No more pain. No more causing pain. No more agony. I dropped the knife back into the sink, scared witless of my thoughts. WHAT was I DOING???? I went to my room, got to my knees and prayed “God get me out of this.” Again God heard the cry of a broken girl – like he heard my Mum 17 years before. God heard me and answered me. Three days later after the hugest fight, I was out of that environment and placed in another. I stayed with my Pastors for a little while.

Now what? God answered my prayer. He got me out of the situation. I no longer was surrounded in arguments, fighting and all the other things that were distracting me from what the real problem was. God showed me this plant that I had in my life. I realized I needed a tree surgeon – God – to rip out that destructive plant in my life. How can I bear good fruits if I am growing evil?

Over the next month or so, I spent a lot of my time praying and allowing God to rip out that tree – leaving one big gaping ugly hole. It hurt… A LOT. There were lots of tears, lots of regret, and times of forgiveness. The first step to healing was forgiveness. I had to forgive the man who had started it all off, I had to forgive him for raping my Mum, I had to forgive him for leaving me, not wanting me, not taking responsibility for his actions. I had to forgive him. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life.

Over time He dealt with the mess left behind, healed the big gaping wounds, he loved the unlovelable and sweetened my bitterness. Bit by bit, day by day, week by week, I became more at peace. I felt peaceful. I was a lot happier, I was secure, I didn’t fight with anyone anymore, I was relaxed, and God was teaching me so much, gently pointing out areas in my life that I needed to work on.

My life began coming together. I was developing close relationships with people. I was almost normal! God directed me in places I never thought I would go! – I don’t believe it, but I got involved in ministry. ME.. who used to be a mess, was able to be used by God. That amazed me! It still does!! God is so capable – if we allow him to be.

I don’t know about you, but I see a pattern here. God had his hand on my life. I was precious to Him, and he knew that later on down the track, he could use me. He knew that from the moment I was conceived. Here was a woman who could speak into the lives of those who have been devastated by tragedy. Here I am – a willing vessel – but I was a broken vessel. Why does God want to use me? I am called according to HIS PURPOSE.

When I could have been aborted, he intervened and stopped it happening, he had his hand on me. The day I found out that I was a nobody, a rape child, not wanted, not in the plan - he was there with me, sharing my pain, aching for me, waiting for me to come to him. The times I was fighting, the times I was hating, the times I was being bitter and nasty, he had his hand on me. The day I wondered thought my life was not worth living and it would be better over with, he had his hand on me. The day I came to him, broken and needy, he had his hand on me – still!

My God has the power to piece together a broken life. He can turn a tragedy into something triumphant! We just need to hand over our broken life and leave it in his capable hands.

Today I have a good relationship with my Dad – I have a brilliant relationship with my Mum. A year ago my Mum said something to me that I will treasure always and I thank God for bringing us to this place.

“Skipper, I am glad in a way that it happened. Because if it didn’t. I wouldn’t have you. You make all the rubbish and the pain all worthwhile! If it didn’t happen, your kids wouldn’t be here... and I would have missed out on so much!!”

I am no longer an illegitimate rape child. I am a child of God. Loved, adored, never rejected, special, and blessed.

I hope this testimony about the power of God has blessed you and even helped give you a hope about your own personal pain. I hope these words speak into your life and make a difference there somewhere, somehow.

Please feel free to share it with whoever you think could benefit from this.

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