NOTE: This is not a Bible study - mainly personal reflection.
Ever have those moments where you feel like life is on the brink of being shaken up BIG TIME! That things are going to change? That sooner or a later a decison will have to be made to change your life forever.
I'm at a place like that right now. There are circumstances in my life that are causing me to believe that I am going to have to make a huge change, for the greater good of someone else. I can't explain just yet what it is - but I will when the time is right.
I feel panic rise in my throat at the very thought of it. What if we have to make this change? What will happen to us? Where will that leave us? We will have to start all over again. Will we be ok? Will we be happy? Will we have the same opportunities? What will become of my dreams and hopes? I feel sick, sad and nervous. Too many urky feelings rolling around inside me.
Another thing - I don't know 100% if I even have to make this decision or not... I know you must be thinking why even worry about it when you aren't even sure it's coming? Call it gut instinct.
And in the middle of my whirling thoughts and rising fears and worries comes a small still voice that speaks through the confusions. "I am able."
God you are able to pave the way, to give clear direction, to ease my worry and to continue to be faithful - even if our life has to change. God you are able to prepare me for this and to honor it. God fill my heart with peace, help me trust in you and believe that whatever happens from now on is for the greater good. I pray that you comfort my crying spirit. I want to trust you. I want to know that whatever happens, your hand is on us, your spirit surrounds us and your blessing is poured out.