A few months ago I had a chat to our church's youth pastor (also a wonderful friend) about my desire to teach the Word of God. I know that God has placed a calling on my life, and given me the "gift of the gab". :) As always he had great advice and support in these dreams. I shared my frustrations of not knowing how to proceed - I didn't want to big-note myself, blow my own trumpet and brag about my abilities to all and sundry. I didn't want to assume anything and I wanted to be as humble as I could about it. Josh gave me some really good advice and told me how to go about it. I prayed about this advice, and then decided that I was going to go for it.
So yesterday, our Pastor was standing alone, sorting out something or other on his chair - so I leapt on the opportunity to speak with him. I strangely felt very calm and very confident as I approached him. I told him I believed that God had placed a calling on my life and given me gifts in preaching and teaching. I was willing to speak in any area, in any department, anywhere that he could use me, I would be willing to be used. I gave him a copy of the last message I did in my old church and then left it with him.
I felt very at peace with this way of self promoting and I now leave it in God's hands. I have done all I can do.
But something else happened yesterday.
8 years ago I had a vision. I saw myself speaking to a large group of people. I saw it from a side on view - I was standing on the right, and this group of people was on the left. The walls behind them were brown. I don't know why I remembered the color of the walls. They just struck me as odd. And 8 years ago - brown walls WERE odd! :) My visions burn deeply into my mind, I never forget them or forget how they look. They are so detailed and clear and when I recall them, it's almost like having the vision again. God's so creative isn't he??
A month or so ago, I was doing taking some photos of the baptism that was happening at church. I was on the far right of the church, near the font. At one point I turned to look for my husband - and I had a sense of De-ja-vu. I had seen this before. How the lighting fell on the congregation... where the speaker was.... it all looked familiar. I remembered my vision... and thought that it looked very similar. But I always thought the church walls were dark grey. I hadn't really looked closely in full light though. This month I that vision has been on my mind daily and I've been praying about it, trusting in his promises.
Yesterday, after I spoke to our Pastor, my husband's cousin showed up for church and we had her sitting with us. Our Pastor came and spoke to her afterwards, and she commented on the renovations. "Oh yes, this was all done in 2007" (5 years after my vision) This was news to me. But then again, I hadn't been in this church for 12 or so years before we started coming. Our Cousin then said "I like the brown walls". My head whipped around to the walls. THEY ARE BROWN!!! Not dark grey... but BROWN!!
I cannot tell you how odd it is to see your vision in real life. It's a bit scary but also just a teeny weeny bit exciting!! God showed me in detail what he had called me to do - which is preach and teach. And 8 years ago that was a joke. I didn't speak in public. I didn't even know HOW to preach. But today, it's not a joke, it's a passion and desire.
God showed me this vision in this way for a purpose. He showed me a side on view - because he knew that's how I would recognise it. If he showed me how it would look from my eyes, I wouldn't have recognised it, because standing on stage in front of the church, you are lucky to see the first 2 rows because the stage lights are very bright. I wouldn't have seen a thing in my vision if it was from my eyes.
God showed me in my vision the color of the walls - because he knew that's how I would recognise it. But he didn't reveal this to me until after 11 months of being at this church. 11 months at this church and I didn't see the color of the walls! Until yesterday. AFTER I spoke to our Pastor about my gifting.
Coincedence? I think not.
I believe in God. I believe in his purpose. I believe in his promises. I believe he keeps his promises. And I certainly believe that God is flippin' amazing!
God - I'm yours. All yours. Do your thing. :)
Thank you for opening my eyes yesterday. I'm stoked.