I've just spent the last 45 minutes or so begging God to help me. I'm sick. Really sick. I'm in excruciating pain from this sickness - I'm miserable, I can't stand, I can't sit, I can't sleep, I can't do anything. This virus has hit me so hard and I've had enough. I've been begging God to take it away. I've claimed in faith every healing scripture I could think of. I have touched the offending parts of my body that are hurt or bugging me, and have claimed healing in Jesus name. I have not been healed miraculously like I would like to be. I'm still sick. Still miserable...
But God just spoke into my heart a moment ago "Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this." (Thesselonians 5:18). Oh really??? Common, I'm not really feeling very thankful. As I type I am coughing up a lung and a kidney I'm sure!!! What have I got to be thankful for??
This has got me thinking....
What can I be thankful for during a time where I don't feel like being very thankful.
1. I am thankful that I am still breathing and living. My husband still has a wife - even though she is really useless at the moment - and my children still have their mother - even though she's crabby and tired.
2. I am thankful that I have a bed to lay in, even though I'm not sleeping. I'm warm, comfortable and safe. God has provided for me a basic need.
3. I am thankful that I have things to distract me from my pain. I can lay in bed with an iPod. I can sit at my computer and communicate. I am not THAT debillitated.
4. I am thankful for modern science, that God has given skills to find cures and help for my sickness. So it's not working so well at the moment, but I have some relief for a small amount of time. That is better than no relief.
5. I am thankful that I have a husband who cares for me and even though today is Father's Day and it's supposed to be all about him - he's helping me and compassionate towards me. He listens to me whine and whinge about my pain and sickness with patience and understanding. I am REALLY thankful for my husband today.
I have lots of things to be thankful for. I just need to shift from an attitude of self centeredness and focussing on my pain to a heart of thankfulness to a God who is really really good, even though he doesn't do the miraculous immediate healing I want. God is good. I am thankful I serve this God, and thankful that he loves me and cherishes me, and listens to my whinging about my pain. I am thankful that this won't last forever, and that I will get better. I am thankful that I don't have cancer, like little James - who the doctors are struggling to treat, because it's coming back. I am thankful that I don't have leukemia like little Lishey, who bravely faces each new treatment, and struggles with the medications effecting his little body in such a significant way.
So whatever happens, Skip - whether you are in pain for a while, or not, be thankful!! Praise the Lord and seek his face. Give him your worship instead of being so focussed on yourself!!!
Thank you Father for reminding me that I should cast aside "stinkin thinkin'" and adopt an "attitude of gratitude". Help me to remember this as I recover from this illness. Help me rest in you and cast my burdens on you, and believe in your goodness and grace towards me. I still want you to heal me. I still want to recover quickly so I can get back into my life again, but most of all I want to remember your blessings and be thankful for them.